I’m Not A Millennial Mom But I Still Got Your Back

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I don’t think that it would come as a shock to anyone when I publicly admit that I’m not a millennial mom. Because I’m not. I was born in the late 70’s and went on to babysit for many of the millennials when they were children. There’s that much of an age difference between us. Sure I have small children but that doesn’t mean I’m a millennial. I just happened to have children later than most millennials do. Or at least later than most millennials seem to be having children these days. Particularly the Mormon millennial mom crowd that I’m often around. I gave birth to my first child when most millennials were either still in high school or just starting college. At this point my youngest is nearing 3 so many a child his age has a millennial mom. It has been interesting for sure just trying to navigate it all and see where I fit into the millennial model.

Photographer: Catherine Donze

When I think millennial mom I often think lifestyle mom blogger. In my mind it’s as if the two just go together. If not an actual blogger then an instagrammer or some other social media account holder with thousands of followers showing their day to day life raising their cute little brood. All while wearing the latest fashions I might add. Perhaps it’s because blogging and social media are so much a part of my world so I just clue into it more, but the majority of current lifestyle mom bloggers also happen to be of millennial age. They’ve grown up in the social media age so that shouldn’t be very surprising. These millennials have become an influence to others and are actually quite powerful in advertising.

Recently the lifestyle mom bloggers (mainly the Mormon variety in Utah) came under attack and what I read really struck a nerve with me. Even with our age difference I still feel this sense of kinship with these ladies and I want to be a support to them in any way that I can. We are all mothers. I’ve never brought any type of controversial topic into this space before as I like to focus on the dandiness and goodness of life but what I witnessed on social media yesterday made me incredibly sad. So much so that I decided to break my unwritten rule. I think that I can get my point across in a respectful and non controversial way so here it goes…

My blogging friends are basically being compared to a disgusting, addicting, dirty filth. The type of filth that really should never be compared to anything else really. The comparison made me sick to my stomach and upset that anyone would associate the word porn with a young mother. What’s more is the entire blogging industry was outed as being “frauds”. A blogger’s picture perfect life was called into question as not being reality at all but completely staged. So much anger was behind those words and I’m still not sure where such rage even comes from. Yes, many a blogger will post perfect looking pictures or a life that would make any advertising agency drool but I think that adults should also be able to tell the difference between reality and advertising. Shouldn’t we be able to? Just in case a person can’t tell the difference the FTC even requires bloggers to disclose an ad, because bloggers are advertisers in their own right. Bloggers have become valuable influencers. We are paid to do sponsored posts, compensated for pictures or text shared on social media, and earn off affiliate sales. The more pageviews a blogger receives the greater can be demanded in terms of compensation for advertising. Blogs often even have resident sidebar advertisements. The bloggers who were called out recently are simply doing a job. They are advertising for companies. It’s their job. Are commercials on television ever reality? No. Commercials are all about perfection. It’s what sells the product. And yet I don’t think people are throwing away their televisions because of commercial “dirty filth”. Putting the best face forward is nothing new. It’s why we exercise proper hygiene is it not? People wear makeup to accentuate certain features or hide blemishes. We post on our private social media accounts for our friends to see just how our perfect family pictures turned out and are sure to omit the twenty or so others on the camera roll where someone blinked. In a way everyone is guilty of being non realistic in some form, be it in person or on Facebook.

The lifestyle bloggers who were called out in such a menacing and judgmental way didn’t deserve to be treated that way. They are women and mothers who should be supported. Many are work at home mothers who are able to see their children throughout the day while also contributing to the household income. What is so wrong with that? We should be applauding these women and not disparaging them. Be kind to others. Don’t knock people down just to get ahead. Be supportive of each other.

And that, my friends, is where the dandiness comes in.

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