I have not forgotten about the skin cancer selfies. The skin cancer selflies are BACK. I know what you are thinking. That I forgot all about posting. I forgot all about the fact that I have the unfortunate luck of having skin cancer be a part of my life. I forgot all about taking the selfies each day. Nope, nope, and nope. I’ve still been documenting with a selfie every day. Just needed a break from actually posting it.
Skin Cancer Selfie: Day 15
I also figured that several days in row would show a time lapse of sorts. So there you have it.
Still can’t wear makeup because it’s still healing. Still can’t go to the gym because of that horrible MRSA business. Still not feeling like myself. Not even at all.
I’ve been feeling quite down lately. I’m not even sure if my friends and family have noticed. I’ve been sad and worried about my appearance. Almost in mourning for something that has been lost and that I probably will never get back. My confidence. But did I really ever have it to begin with?
Self confidence is something that I’ve struggled with for years. Always being concerned with what others thought of me. It always pushed me to be better and to try harder. Now I’m at a crossroads. This is something that I have absolutely no control over. At the same time I never had control over the thoughts of others either. All that time spent worrying was for nothing. Years and years. I’m glad that I’ve been able to reach these revelations now but wish that I had realized this so much sooner. A lot of time lost.
Basal cell carcinoma is exactly like those people in life who make you feel worthless. It strips you of the positive. It mocks you. It scares you. It makes you anxious. It leaves you wounded and feeling disfigured. I must break free. I must overcome. I hope that my outlook on life will be better. From now on.
I had basal cell carcinoma but it does not have me. It will not define me. I am still me.